I'm abrasive. I know it, but there is not a lot I can do about it. My husband often tells me I just don't have a knack for mincing any words. My father is the exact same way, so I guess it's no secret where I have acquired this endearing trait. Sadly, I tend to get myself into trouble even in times where I had nothing but the best intentions at heart.
My dad's girlfriend (this is a wierd thing for me to even type...dad's girlfriend) has a son. Her son has a wife. Together they just had a beautiful baby girl. Mommy was having some trouble nursing her, and has since taken to pumping her milk and bottle feeding her. The baby gets bottles of breast milk, and formula as a supplement. Here's where I come at her like a Mack Truck politely try to give her some words of wisdom.
Rather than leaving well enough alone, I tried to give her advice (totally unsolicited, mind you) about pumping, and making sure she was getting letdown...blah blah blah. Seriously, I absolutely was not trying to put her on the defensive, but I immediately heard in her voice that I had. Fumbling for words, I tried to back pedal my way out of the mess I has made. Nope, just made it worse...sigh.
Feeling horrible at having made her feel bad, I tried to redeem myself by telling her what a great thing she was doing in continuing to pump. That a lot of women wouldn't be that determined. Again, didn't help. The warmth in her voice never returned.
Now I sit here feeling, well, feeling like an A-hole if I'm being honest (which I am). I absolutely didn't want advice from people about how to mother my baby...not unless I asked for it! How did I forget that so quickly? It seems now that I have some fences to mend.