I caught myself today saying something that, if taken out of context, would sound very incriminating. Then it got me thinking about the things I say on a regular basis to my kids. In or out of context it amazes me the words that come out of my mouth. To no one but one of my children could I say any of these things and not be looked at like I was deranged:
"Don't run with that pencil...you'll stab yourself in your eye."
"Spit out that rock...it's only pretend cake, you can't really eat rocks."
"Guys, seriously...can mommy just potty in peace?"
"Don't do that, you are getting pee all over the floor."
"You're right, that is a monster poop!"
"Yes, I heard, but you need to say excuse me after you fart." (lovely isn't it?)
"Well, we don't buy babies...but okay, he can be the last one."
"Shhh...he didn't color on his face, I will explain later." (about someone with a large birthmark)
"Yes, I see that person does have a sticker on his shoulder." (tattoo)
"No, you won't have what he has when you get older. Because you are a girl."
"No honey I didn't fart...I need to brush my teeth."
"Why are you outside with no clothes on?"
"No, you can't taste the worm!"
"You're right...mommy shouldn't say a-s-s, mommy should say bottom."
There you have it. I could go on and on, but now I want to hear some of your favorites. So go ahead, leave 'em in the comments. Don't have kids? That's okay, I am sure you have heard some doozies so leave those!