This past Sunday my Aunt's mother passed away. One of my cousins and I were talking about it, and we both had the same memory come to mind. P.I. (Aunt's Mom's initials) was shouting as we would ride by on our bicycles "E.T. phone home!" We would laugh hysterically at her kooky remark and ride by again to hear her repeat it. We were young kids then. We weren't very forgiving, and so we basically thought she was, well...kooky.
Now I am an adult with kids of my own, and to be honest I can still say that she was kooky. The difference is, today I will tell you I am too. When I remember P.I. now, I don't remember her for being kooky. I remember her for her generous heart, her forgiving nature, her quickness to befriend, her eagerness to smile and her love to laugh. She was a warm woman with a good soul, and she was my Aunt's mother.
It is impossible for me to process the despair my Aunt must feel at the loss of her mom. It was very sudden, and somehow that makes it worse. I think when we know the end is near, we can at least attempt to ready ourselves for the grief to come. But when a loved one is taken suddenly without warning, it hits like a freight train.
I know this all too well. When I was younger I lost one of my closest friends. There was an accident at work, he was badly injured and didn't make it out alive. Freight train. Devastation. Devastation for all of us who were left behind.
An entire year went by, and within it not a day was missed that I didn't ask God "why"? Why him? Why us? I still don't have the answers, but I no longer ask the quesitons. God knows...and for now that has to be enough.
So tonight my heart aches for my Aunt and the suffering she endures. I love her, but I can offer her no shelter in the storm. I know that only time will give her that. For on Sunday P.I. did phone home, and God told her it was time.