Super Noob:
Not Me Monday

I was all prepared to not do a Not Me Monday post. I feel like it's getting a little tired. So I spent the morning cleaning my kitchen floor and the inside of my bathroom cupboards. Not to mention the usual, making meals, picking up the same sippy cup a million times (well, at least 6 times), and refereeing the offspring.

Then I sat on my couch looked around my living room and said "This is not my house. Right? Someone tell me when the place will resemble a liveable space again." So here I am. Posting Not Me Monday. Go to MckMama's blog to see some more.

In order to do this post, I didn't send my children out back to play with some very flimsy rules about not shoving, and not throwing rocks.

I'm not still in my pajamas, hair a mess, and without a trace of deodorant. Pft...deodorant...who needs it?

I am not sitting here wondering what the heck we are going to have for dinner tonight, because I am always prepared ahead of time with something taken out of the freezer. Nope, I'm not sitting here complacent with nary a plan in sight.

Finally, I received the sunshine award from three people (I will post it later), and I did NOT misplace one of the names of the people who forwarded it to me. So when I do the post, and your name is not mentioned, please let me know, and I do NOT give you permission to beat me about the head with a big stick.

What have you not been doing lately?

Not Me! Monday...oh how I've missed you. It's been several weeks since I have mustered up the energy to confess all the ridiculous things I haven't been doing. Certainly, that doesn't mean there have been a lack of ridiculous things perpetrated by me, nope...just laziness I assure you. Wanna unload too? You can have a look at MckMama's blog to see the rules.

I pride myself on being a patient, loving, attentive, and compassionate wife and mother. Seeing as how that's always the case, I did not say "oh great" when Andy informed me that he wasn't feeling well. My thoughts did not automatically go to my kids getting it, and my having to deal with their crabby sick little selves. Nope, I immediately said "oh, I'm so sorry you're feeling unwell...what can I do for you?" Yes, I am certain it was something along those lines.

Again, because I am so patient with my children, it was not me who nearly lost her mind at every turn this past week. I didn't shout at my little ones more times than I care to count, and I absolutely did not make at least one threat on which I had zero intention of following through. I am never that type of mother.

Have you ever met those people who worry about everything? I mean everything! Yeah, me too. I don't ever feel like one of those people. Nope, I don't. Not even when I spend over an hour on the computer (which uses a wireless signal) trying to research a link between wireless signals in the home and childhood cancer. That would be absolute nonsense, and something I without question, did not do last night.

Now, because I love knowing there are an abundance of others out there who do not do equally ridiculous things, I want to hear from you! What didn't you do last week?

Last week I took a small break from Not Me! Monday...well, simply because I didn't have anything interesting enough to drivel about on the blog. I'm afraid today may not be much different, but I simply can't stay away two weeks in a row! So, on we go. If you have been living under a cow patty and don't know what it is...be sure to go here to check out others who confess, along with our host, MckMama, all that they have not been doing.

This past week I went on a major (and I don't use the term loosely) cleaning spree in our bedroom. Seriously, I think the last time I vacuumed behind our nightstands was...never? I honestly can't remember. Anyway, for some gnarly before pics, and some not so gnarly afters, go here. In any case, while cleaning the room and the pseudo officeshouldbeacloset...I did not find two empty beer bottles tucked into our desk/hutch. My husband would never just drink a beer, let alone two, in our office then leave the bottles there like some Jed Clampett descendant. He is much more civilized than that!

A couple of mornings ago, I was not aroused from my early morning slumber by the sounds of my daughter playing in my son's room. I did not hear her (over the monitor) ask her 17 month old brother if he wanted another mint ball. The sleepy wheels in my brain were not revved into hyper gear, as I clambered out of bed to go investigate. Upon arriving at my son's room, I surely did not find these Ice Breaker Liguid Ice things littering his floor and crib. My 17 month old did not have fabulous breath...not my children.

Anyone who has children or who has ever had the dubious distinction of "diaper changer," knows all too well the pungent stench that accompanies those nasty little bundles. That being said there isn't a person in their right mind who would change a diaper, exclaiming all the while to the little cherub what a stinky mess he made, wrap the diaper up, then sniff it just to be sure it was actually as stinky as he/she exclaimed. Since no person like that exists, I can safely and surely say that I did NOT do that!

Your turn. Share what you haven't been doing over the last week either here in the comments, or in your own Not Me! Monday Post.

Not Me! Monday time. After you read here, head over to MckMama's blog to read what others are not doing.

My brother works as one of the chefs at Binkley's, one of the most renowned restaurant in Arizona, and quite possibly all of the South West. It is certainly one of the best in the country. For Christmas, my brother treated my husband and I to a meal there. We went Saturday night while my dad stayed with the kids.

While at this 5 star restaraunt, it was not me who giggled like a little school girl every time they brought out a new amuse bouche. My husband did not make faces at the look of about 90% of these, which in turn, did not send me into fits of laughter. We are way too cultured to behave like that at such an establishment.

Keeping with the food theme, over the holiday weekend it was not me who ate so much junk that it sent my stomach into crampy spasms. I am not still suffering from said cramps as I type. **side note-I fear I may be coming down with some sort of stomach bug actually, and I am only hoping that it was all the garbage I ate that has me feeling like this**

That's it for me today. Let's hear from you! What didn't you do this past week? Leave it in the comments, or do a post of your own and link up to MckMama.

Monday, in addition to a multitude of other things, means Not Me! Monday with the mother of all Not Me's. That is where I confess, along with others, all of the things I didn't do this past week. It is NOT with great shame and embarrassment that I spill it this time around.

This last Friday we hosted my husband's holiday party. It was a lot of fun, and a success I would say. However, I had to spend the entire day preparing food and barely had enough time to get ready before everyone started to show up. So it certainly wasn't me who demanded to have a glass of wine before company arrived. After Andy told me it would be just a second...that he was doing something first, it most definitely was not me that said "no, I mean I need one NOW!"

Seeing as how I feel pretty wrecked the next day if I have anything more than a couple of drinks, you bet your sweet behind that it wasn't me who drank nearly a whole bottle of wine...and three beers! I would not be that reckless.

Saturday morning, since I was so responsible Friday night, I most certainly did not wake up feeling like I had been kicked in the head by my horse...or like I had been chewing old, dirty socks all night. Not me! It didn't take me the entire weekend to recover either, and I am not sitting here contemplating a glass of wine even as I write this. Sigh. There you have it.

For those of you who don't know what this is all about (and I am guessing that the number of you is 1 or less), you can leave your Not Me stuff in my comments, or do a whole post of your own and go link 'er up with MckMama. Then read what everyone else has not been doing.

First, don't forget to read this post for your chance at a free blog makeover. I mean total makeover. The contest will end January 1st.

Now on to Not Me! Monday. If you don't know by now, this is a teeny huge carnival done by MckMama, where moms come to spill the beans about the things they have not done over the past week.

This week it was certainly not me who whacked my husband in the arm after he scared the ever living crap life out of me while driving. It was also not me who denied that I hit him. I certainly wouldn't have tried to convince him that it was just my startled reaction (which it was actually) and that I just tapped his arm.

It's not me who has a clean set of sheets sitting on the dresser to be put on the bed. Those same sheets have not been sitting there collecting dust for about three weeks now. They absolutely were not sitting in a heap on my couch for a week before that. I never let so much time pass between bedding changes. Especially since Addyson does not sneak food into my bed and she does not ever leave crumbs.

Finally, it was not me who was a raging witch (you know I want to change the first letter of that word) to everyone in the house (except Colton) yesterday. I am not at all stressed out that my husband's holiday party is this Friday, and I am not even a fraction of the way ready. Nope, I am always calm, cool and collected.

There you have it. Now let's have yours. You can leave them here in the comments or do your own post if you dare. If Mckmama gets her act together, we can all go link up ;)

Time again to confess those things that I really didn't do. By now, you should know the drill. After reading, head over to MckMama's to read what some others have to say, and maybe even post your own.

Since I am such an on top of it mother, I always make sure my son is in a clean diaper. So, the other day while trying to sneak in a quick post, I would never have pretended I didn't smell the pungent stench emanating from his under region just so I could finish what I was doing. Not me. I wouldn't ever let my precious little babe sit in his own stew so that I could do something for me first.

We went to get our Christmas tree this past weekend, and I managed to string the lights on it that same night. It only took me 3 hours! After stringing the lights I did not decide to just decorate the rest later on. Certainly our tree is not still sitting in our living room with bare branches, save the lights of course. Not in my house.

Finally, I did not get dressed in my workout clothes last night (despite the nagging voice in my head telling me not to), walk into the garage (where we have an entire gym set up), see the state of it with boxes out and sitting on the equipment I would use, turn around and come back inside. I would never let a little thing like a few boxes deter me from working out and getting into my skinny clothes! Not me.

How about you? What did you not do this past week? Let's read it here in the comments, or head over and do a post of your own.

Usually if MckMama isn't running the show on this, I don't bother doing it since the link isn't up. Today, I am throwing caution to the wind, in a wild and crazy abandon sort of way! Before you know it I will be swigging my beer right from the bottle and going out in public looking like I am fresh out of bed...wait, I do do that!

Moving right along. This week, I did not let my laundry pile up to the point where I had no clean underwear. If I had done that, I certainly would never have just thrown my jeans on sans undies, and go out to run my errands with the kids. Nope...never.

I did not tell my husband this past week to go to the doctor to get this cough he has checked out or I would be ticked off if something was wrong with him. I would certainly be more sensitive than that considering the cough has been going on for about a month now.

Seeing as how I always have an abundance of energy, I would never try to sleep for ten extra minutes after I know my daughter is up, raoming the house, left to her own devices. After not staying in bed the extra ten minutes, I did not go into my son's room to find that my daughter had gotten into our "candy" drawer and decided to help herself and her baby brother to a container of tic tacs. The tic tacs were not all over his bedroom floor and inside his crib! That would just be totally irresponsible parenting. I am always aware of my children.

Oh...and look at that. I just noticed MckMama got her Not Me! post up, so head over and link yours up as well. Or, if you so desire, just comment here.

Woo Hoo! Time for another Not Me Monday. I did my first one a few weeks ago. Then Mckmama had to go to Boston with Stellan so they could get their MckMiracle on. So I shelved mine...until now.
After the amount of time lapsed, you would think I have a ton of these bad boys saved up. But alas..only these few.

This week, while doing the dishes one afternoon, I did not notice an ugly dark spot on the kitchen floor. You know, because my floor is always spit-shined. And speaking of spit-shines, I did not lean down, spit on the spot and wipe it up with a paper towel. Who would do that? Well, I know I wouldn't.

One morning, I was not still in bed while Addyson was up and roaming the house, foraging for whatever she could find. When she came into my room with her pita chips (remember this post), I did not let her crawl into bed with me on my husband's side just so I could lay there for ten precious more minutes. When my husband crawled into bed that night and found pita chip crumbs all over his side, I most certainly would never have told him I had no idea how they had gotten there. Not me!

Finally, when I ran out of juice this week (and Addyson's ritual is to have half juice/half water after nap or crazy happens), I did not seriously consider for just one second using a sweet white wine just to satiate her. Gosh, what sort of mother would even let that thought cross her mind? Glad to say...not this kind!

So that's it friends. That's what hasn't been happening here in the Desert lately. To see what others have not been up to you can head on over to Mckmama's blog and check it out. Post your own Not Me's if you dare.

I have read MckMama's Not Me Monday Posts for a long time now, but never had a blog of my own to try it out. Well now I do...so here we go. This week I did not go in to my crying daughter at bed time to see what was wrong only to discover she did not need to blow her nose. So I most certainly did not use the T-shirt I was wearing to let her blow her nose. I would never be that lazy.

I did not give my children dry cheerios in church just to try to keep them quiet, and when a few dropped on the floor, I absolutely did not let my youngest eat them! I mean, everyone knows how dirty the floor must be.

I did not do laundry this past week only to let it pile up unfolded on my couch. It is not still sitting there even today. And I would never post a picture of it for all the world all five of my readers to see!

Why would I ever do that? So, do you have your own Not Me's to share? If so, go over to MckMama's blog and join in! If not, have fun reading about everthing everyone else is not doing.